SuperMom 2010

I have recently been thinking about parenthood. What's a good parent, a super parent or just raising good kids? Hardly a definition out there, I mean I can only read so many articles, jump on sides of opinions or listen to too many stories before I start to figure out my own parenthood path and my kid is 7!! (scary) He is my first. So, easily, he has become my learning curve (I suppose). But the curse you indisputably get when you become a parent is guilt and over-analysis of your supermom status.

Just so happens, I do mine alone.(well not entirely alone: I got Jesus) But things become like clockwork for me that I forget about that small (huge)part, my Faith. Until today or maybe more yesterday when I find myself in tears for most of the evening. All evening I kept laughing (while crying) "why am I crying". Well, I'm my own worst critic and parenthood has been my beat up topic for the last few months, especially. Am I making the right choices? is he eating correctly? should I let him go here or there? does he need more Dad time? on and on and on. Until last night: my stop/my realization: No matter what I do I can't get rid of this curse so put my big girl pants on and talk it out (pray first and then blog). Which left me feeling better by morning. Kinda woke up thinking "Give yourself a break, he's (Jesus) got my back"

Most of the time I'm the villain, you know, the rule giver. The brush your teeth or die giver. Or the do it or you are grounded forever giver. Ha. But sometimes I should be able to feel like the SUPERMOM in the eyes of my child. Like cotton candy for breakfast or bedtimes at 11 o'clock. Which then usually leaves me thinking I'm a bad mom because there are always emotional break downs for little people who are allowed to "do whatever they want" So most of the time I play the role of villain to Jaxson.

With all of this said, in the end maybe being the kind of mom I want to be isn't 100% possible. Or for anyone for that matter. We do want we have to, to keep our kids safe, happy and not crazy.